My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
