i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just cropdusted the office
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
