i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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