Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
