ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
should my penis look like a turkey
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
