so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize