U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
