theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
