He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
