I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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