Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
