i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
