He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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