He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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