I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
