just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize