why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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