I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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