We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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