I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The power of my boobs compel you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
