that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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