margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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