38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
