Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
