It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
