Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
