The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
