I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
