I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
