My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
