i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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