im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
