Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
