hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
