so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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