well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
and you fell through a lawn chair
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
