Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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