What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
