I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
