the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were trust falling into bushes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
