My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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