people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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