If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize