addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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