What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
