Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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