Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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