I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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