tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
