You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
