there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
