You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
