There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
