chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
