I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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