oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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