I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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