I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
