the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
