C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize