Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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