Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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