doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
