I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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