your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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