"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
