Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
