mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
