I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
